MANAGEMENT FOR THE NEW MILLENIUM

New theories of management are coming as fast as you can say guru, guru, guru! The latest crop includes:

• MBL (Management by Body Language) An effort to make unconscious bodily gestures and non verbal language the management style of choice. With the rapid growth of illiteracy in the work population this style will be the one promise for connection.

• MBBD (Management by Breakdown) This new style will come into play with the coming mental collapse of management.

• MBC (Management by Concealment) This will be a new management approach to keep from being seen, found, or observed by employees or customers.

• MBDA (Management by Devil's Advocate) For the sake of argument a new-vice president and a forty member staff will be introduced to interface with other departments.

• MBE (Management by Elbows) Taking the best of what the NBA has to offer, this style of management will push aside the laid back members of the organization.

• MBE #2 (Management by Exception) A concerted effort to focus on the 3-5 % of the things that do not work. Those with the ability to assess blame will have considerable success with this system.

• MBHS (Management by Head Set) All employees will have cell phones with headsets enabling them to be available for instant response to almost any dictum from management.

• MBMAP (Management by Meat and Potatoes) A return to basics. The phrase "meat head" will designate a new manager (and will not be a term of disparagement.)

• MBCS (Management by Common Sense) On the surface this would appear as a reasonably viable program. (However, Leading management schools believe more statistical evidence is required to validate this approach.)

• MBP (Management by Placebo) Management will use devices of no intrinsic remedial value to asssure all is well. (Will be most effective in the company wellness programs.)

• MBRVM (Management by Rear View Mirror) Will give new meaning to the expression: "the use of mirrors."

• MBS (Management by Shuttle) As the route becomes more familiar new untrained managers will become messengers.

• MBV (Management by Video Tape) Every known management decision will be placed on video tape by actors. This will preceed a sharp reduction in supervisors and managers.